The Girlfriend Exposure
by Little-Firestar84
Summary: Trying out new things, a more positivie attitude, an healthy diet and leaving earlier in the evenings:all things that, according to Rollins, indicate that Carisi is hiding a girlfriend somewhere- a girlfriend that just can't be happy to share him with another woman, even if she is a single mother and they are only friends. The solution? Breaking up with him...


"All right fellas, I'll see you tomorrow!"

When Carisi left the room, Fin simply nodded, barely lifting his eyes from all the paperwork he was drowning into. But, he realized grinning, the same couldn't be said for his fellow detective, Rollins: Carisi had already vacated the elevator for a few minutes, and yet Amanda Rollins' gaze was still firmly there, where her partner and friend had been until a few minutes before. Just like he was still there and he was sporting not one but two heads.

"He has a girlfriend. Did you know that?"

"Oh, really?" Fin asked, skeptical, lifting an eyebrow. sure, he and Carisi weren't so tight, but in the last few years since the younger detective had joined SVU, he had heard dear old Sonny talking a lot about his family (especially those crazy sisters of his), his exes and, especially, Jesse (mostly) and Amanda. But a new girlfriend? Of course, it was possible- his son, despite being in a committed relationship, had sad more than once that Carisi was good looking- but, even it were to be true (and there was a big if there), it had to be pretty recent. But, if in all his years in the Police he had learnt to read people (which he had) and he still knew how to do it, well, Fin was pretty positive that Carisi did not, in fact, have a new girlfriend in his life.

"He has taken to eat healthy, and, c'mon, when was the last time you saw him leaving so early? He never did, but this week, this must be, like, the third time he leaves before me!"

Fin just shrugged; frankly, there was a part of him that really wanted to tell Rollins to just get over herself and make a move if she was interested (even if he still thought that brining home someone from work was, in the majority of cases, a bad idea), but he had seen enough drama to last a lifetime….

"Maybe he just has a doctor's appointment or he goes home to see his mother. You knows he is crazy about her and his sisters.." He simply said, sighing.

"You think he may be sick?" Rollins asked, like it was an after-thought, turning pale and gulping down a mouthful of saliva.

"You kidding? I'm pretty sure that Carisi feels better than me. Maybe you are right, and he is just dating some girl he isn't ready to bring over yet…"

Amanda slumped in her chair, crossing her arms and biting her lips, her eyes falling on Jesse's picture; Fin was probably right- she had even suspected herself that Carisi was dating someone he wasn't ready to introduce to them yet. She just didn't like it. It wasn't the fact that he was dating- he was single, smart, caring, young and, even if they were friends and worked together, she had still enough hormones in her system to admit that he could be… sexy.

She was mad because he wasn't sharing this information with her. He wasn't telling her anything, and all she knew, well, she had deduced it, and he didn't want to admit anything with her.

She wondered why. They were friends after all, right? They always shared everything. They had been there for each other, when none others would. They still were. And yet, he was holding something back.

Was it something she had done? Or maybe, he simply thought she wasn't going to like her- or like the fact that he wasn't going to be around so much if he was in a steady relationship. But… how could she want something different for him? He was her best friend, after all: all she wanted for him was to be happy. How could he believe that she could think otherwise?

Sighing, Amanda's eyes fell on his empty desk; her mind went back to all the time spent together, how they had become family to each other- and part of each other's family. She cared about him, more than she had ever cared about anyone else, and if letting him go was what it took to make him happy… so be it. So would have told him that she was going to let him go. She would have freed him from whatever obligation he thought he had with them.

Now, she just needed to understand how she was going to do it…

Kim was playing with Jesse when Amanda, who was trying to cook some dinner, heard her front door being opened; like on autopilot, her right hand went to her side, like her gun was there, but she found herself lacking it; she grunted, annoyed, but ready to face whoever was there, like a lion with her cub; she slowly walked towards the door, and gasped when she found herself face-to-face with Carisi- even if, with all those groceries bags he was carrying, it was hard to see his face and distinguish who was actually there.

"Carisi? What are you doing here?" She asked, lifting her eyebrows. It had been a surprise- a good one, but a surprise nevertheless- for she hadn't been expecting him that evening. He had left early, after all, and as far as she knew, he had, somewhere, a girlfriend. He wasn't supposed to spent all his time with them.

"What I'm…" He looked at her like Amanda had suddenly grown a second head or was talking about an alien invasion. "It's Friday, Amanda. _I always_ cook the four of us dinner of Friday."

"Yeah, I know that it's Friday. But, it's not like it's written somewhere that every Friday you have to come here and cook us dinner. It's not like I'm alone, I've got Kim, and Jesse, and, and people goes out on Fridays…"

Carisi lifted his eyebrows quizzically, trying to understand what was going on- Amanda was barely making any sense grammatically, let alone giving an actual meaning to the sentence. "But, I'm out. I mean, I'm at your place…"

Amanda groaned, closing her eyes, and suddenly felt the irrepressible need to hit her head against something hard- like, the wall for example. But at this point, even his head would have made it.

"Women, Carisi. On Fridays, single men go out with preferably single women." She snorted, looking at him like she was an annoyed parent trying to make her point with her teenage child. God- she hoped that girls were better than this, otherwise she would have been in a lot of problems, once Jesse had reached the troubling teens….

"Yeah, and it's Friday, and I'm out and I'm in company of a woman." He wasn't pretending to not get her. Because he really didn't. he was completely oblivious to her point.

"C'mon, you know what I mean…"Amanda chuckled, snorting in a very un-lady like manner, showing what a tomboy she had always been; she was shaking her head in half-disbelief, when a sudden movement caught her attention. "What are you doing?" She asked, lifting an eyebrow as she saw Kim trying to sneak out.

"Uhm, I'm leaving? I just feel like this is going to be a stressful conversation, and stress isn't any good for me, so I thought, maybe I could go and get some ice-cream? For when you'll have finished your conversation… so, see you later!"

 _Coward!_ Amanda hissed, before returning to look at Carisi, trying to smile, even if it was a grimace that was printed on her features. "So… we were saying?" She asked casually, playing with a lock of her hair- on which, oddly enough, he seemed very focused on.

"We were saying…." Carisi started, before gulping down a mouthful of saliva and run his hand over his eyes for what felt like the longest time. "Honestly, Amanda? I don't know what we were saying, because you are not making any sense and I really don't know what you meant with this whole, men go out on Fridays…"

She was starting to get annoyed. He was smart- he was a lawyer, he wanted to be an ADA, for God's sake, how could he not get it? "I mean, " She said putting her hands on his shoulders, like he was a boy in need of a lesson well taught. "that it's ok. You can go and be with your girlfriend. Actually, you pretty much have to. Trust me- I may be a mother, but I'm still a woman, and if my boyfriend were out with another girl on the weekend, I'd be pretty mad."

Carisi lifted his eyebrows so much they were pretty much reaching his hairline; his eyes were as huge as saucers as he couldn't stop but looking at Amanda, whose hands were still on his shoulders. They spent in silence the longest time, then, when he finally realized what she had actually said, he finally opened his mouth.

"What girlfriend?" he asked.

"Duh, yours, obviously!" She was starting to get worried. When had Carisi turned into such an idiot? Had he hit his head and she hadn't noticed? Or was he still worried that she'd go mad, that she didn't want anything to do with him, wouldn't allow him to see his God-daughter if another woman was in his life?

"Amanda, I don't have a girlfriend." She opened her mouth as to speak, but, knowing her all too well, he lifted his right hand, and stopped her before she could say a sole word. "I don't have a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a woman, a lover, a mistress… I am not seeing any person in any capacity."

Amanda sighed, running an hand through her long lock, suddenly tired and sad. She just wanted for this charade to be over, to get her daughter back from her sister and go cuddle her on a rocking chair. "Listen, you don't have to act. Whoever you are seeing, it's ok. I won't get mad. Things don't need to change but… I have to let you go, and it's ok."

"Amanda, with all due respect…" He sighed, eyes closed and hands joined like in prey before his face. "I don't understand what's the problem. I'm not seeing anyone. If you want to stop having dinner with me, just, tell me, all right? If you are seeing someone, then I'm happy for you and for Jesse…"

"I'm not seeing anyone!" She hissed at low voice, scared that the neighbors would hear their somehow heated argument- which she wasn't sure how it had actually started. " _You_ are seeing someone!"

Carisi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was done denying the dating thing- even if he really wasn't dating anyone. He just didn't know how to get it through that thick skull of hers- and he just wanted to get what was going through her mind. "Fine. Let's hear, what suggests that I'm suddenly in a committed relationship?"

"Well, you are eating healthy, and trying new things out, and suddenly you leave earlier than usual… it pretty much screams girlfriend." She causally said, arms crossed, leaning with her back against a stark white wall.

"Or maybe it screams that I've got high cholesterol and I went to see my doctor." Amanda lifted a quizzical eyebrow; one or two times, she could get the doctor, but she was a cop- and a damn good one- and she wasn't going to buy it. "I took smoking again, so my doctor suggested an acupuncturist. Said he was good, and had resolved a lot of cases. With a stressful job, two sisters out of three that turned out crazy and the cholesterol, Doc said it was wise to take at least a worrying factor out of the equation, to better postpone any future troubles."

"Oh." Amanda simply said, her voice low, blushing; Carisi chuckled, hands in the pockets of his trousers, and got closer and closer to her, until they were just a breath away and he had her cornered.

"You know, don't take it the wrong way- but you are absolutely adorable when you are jealous."

"I wasn't jealous!" She answered, indignant, playfully slapping him on the chest; but Carisi simply chuckled, amused by the situation, and stole a quick kiss to her- a mere peck that ended before she could even begin to think if she had to actually answer to his kiss or not; she was still open mouthed, staring in the void, when she noticed that Carisi wasn't even there any longer, but was already busying himself with cooking her dinner.

With fresh ingredients. Healthy fresh ingredients.

"What are you doing?" She asked, trying to sound casual. And yet failing miserably.

"I'm cooking you dinner. Like any other Friday." He answered as he moved to chop some garlic.

Amanda closed her eyes, exasperated. He was driving her mad. For real. "Yeah, ok, I see that. You cook for me on Fridays, I know that. But, I was wondering why you had the sudden desire to cook for me after having kissed me in my hallway. Just, you know, professional curiosity."

"You were very kissable."

"That's it?"

He nodded, shrugging like it was nothing. "Yeah. And, also, I kind of have wanted to do it for a while- let's say a good year. Since Jesse was born. Like, the minute she was born. I mean, I pretty much already liked you before, but when I saw you looking at her for the first time? That was it." He stopped chopping, then turning to look at Amanda, chuckling. "Did you think I wasn't dating because I didn't have the time, between work and family and you and Jesse?" She nodded, biting her lips. "So, it never crossed your mind the thought that I wasn't dating because I felt I was already dating?"

"But… we are not dating…." She tried to defend herself, but then she started to think- like, really think, and it hit her.

Having dinner/lunch/drinks together, alone the two of them, at their respective places or out? Check.

Trying new things out together? Check.

Knowing/seeing each other families? Check. (For God's sake, his mother was trying to get Jess to call her grams… how had she missed this?)

Celebrating festivities together? Check.

Going to museums/openings/movies/theatre together? Check.

Going to the park together with her daughter? Yep. (And sometimes people had even complimented them on their daughter…)

Yep. They were dating. Minus the sex, of course.

"I don't need to date, Amanda. I already have you and Jesse, and I don't want anything else. Even if… even if you want things to stay the same, it's ok for me. Really." He said, simply, smiling of the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.

In that moment, she hated herself for having thought of… of putting some distance between herself and this wonderful man.

"I just… I don't have a great record with relationships…" she said, biting her fingernails. She was pouting yet again- something that was making concentrating hard- all he wanted to do in that moment was to forget everything and everyone and steal yet again a kiss. It seemed like, after having been without the touch of her lips for so long, now he couldn't help but touch her, feel her lips on his owns.

His eyes closed, Carisi took a big breath as he lowered his head. "Baby steps, Amanda. If… if that's you want, we can go as slow as you want."

 _Slower than this?_ She mentally asked herself, lifting a quizzical eyebrow. "There's gonna be some ground rules…." She gave up, rolling her eyes a little and taking a big breath. "You've got to be patient with me, you have to respect my boundaries, you have to remember that I'm no damsel in distress and you are no white knight in shining armor, especially on the job, and no public display of affection unless we are between these walls, ever."

Carisi, grinning, pretended to be pondering the situation. "So, basically, you want me to keep doing what I've been doing up until now, _but_ being with you instead of just being your housekeeper and nanny? Fine with me."

Amanda stared at him, killing him with her laser-like glare; had she been in his shoes, she'd lowered the humor a bit- if he really wanted to have any chance of, eventually, setting foot in her bed to do something that wasn't actually sleeping.

"Also, if I have to be honest, I didn't like the moustache. I just said that I did because you were being mean with my… with Nick."

He shrugged. "No problem. Wasn't thinking of growing it back anyway. I think it made me look… older, I guess? And with the hair greying at the sides, no reason to look like an old man already."

Amanda chuckled lightly, smiling, radiant; she tentatively closed the distance between them, and with her right thumb skimmed over his temple, where his hair was already turning grey; he wasn't even forty, and just a couple of years before, the grey hadn't been there… has it really been that long since they've met? How could she had missed it? How could she had allowed them to… to get… _old_ while waiting to make a move?

Eye to eye, he covered her hand with his own, interlacing their fingers. "I thought you said you were against public display of affection…" he said, smiling.

She sighed a little dramatically, her eyes a bit dreamy, tapping with her left hand against his shirt-covered chest.

"But we are alone here…" She said, fliting a little. She wasn't even sure she still knew how she was supposed to do it; yes, she had been in relationships with Amaro and Declan, but flirting hadn't exactly been part of the equation; back then, she hadn't been exactly against it- both were arrangements she was fine with- but somehow, the idea of having a relationship with Carisi based mostly on casual sex, well, she didn't like it, not one bit. It wasn't like she wanted something completely platonic either- it was that she kind of wanted the whole package. Even if she had been thinking about it for something like, oh, a good five minutes.

"Does it mean that I can kiss you?" He asked, with a lazy grin, even if he was already a breath away from her lips; Amanda didn't even had to answer him; with a smile that matched his own, she grabbed him for the collar of his shirt, and dragged him against her; it took Carisi a whole two seconds to understand that full softness he was feeling were actually her lips- and that Amanda was kissing him, and that she had initiated said kiss- but when he did, he closed his eyes, and sighing, he put his hands on her sides, lifting Amanda and making her seat on the kitchen isle as they kept making out like they were two teenagers stormed by bloody hormones.

As he hummed against her lips as Amanda smiled against his mouth, her fingers tenderly and gently massaging huis scalp, neither of them noticed that smell of burnt coming from the forgotten stoves.

They had better things to do with their time, after all.


End file.
